Christmas Eve!

Even though growing up comes with changes in how Christmas feels, there is still something magical about it, which I hope never changes.

This year, I was able to help Frank decorate his house with lots of gold garland, icicle lights, big fat colored lights, window stick ons and even got us in the mood with a Christmas jazz CD! It was so much fun and just got me in the Christmas spirit even more :)

I also got to see my Brittany the last two days! We usually only get to see each other once a year at Donner Mine, but this year will *hopefully* be THREE times - DMMC, Christmas and a trip to LA in January! I always have so much fun with her, and this time was no exception. We even stayed up until 4am laughing, as quietly as we could. Love love love love love.

The only unfortunate thing is that I had several days off, but now I had to work last night as a breaker, TONIGHT (Christmas Eve) from 4 until ?, and the day after Christmas from 4 until ?. I am at least thankful that Olive Garden is cool enough to close on Thanksgiving and Christmas days.That gives me time to wake up and open presents with my family and then head over to Frank parents to have a Christmas dinner and to hang out with them!

I hope that everyone has a wonderful Christmas and that the holiday brings joy and happiness!!

life's right on track :)

My life is going wonderfully lately. Why? Oh you know, the little things, like finding out I got an A in both anatomy AND medical terminology (!!!!), or the fact that I get to spend about 4 days total with Frank next week, or maybe it's because Christmas is coming so soon and with it comes Brittany and Dach. Maybe it's because of the fact that I'm making enough money to pay for school without taking out loans. It could be babysitting the cute little kids next door every Tuesday and earning money while having fun and being a kid myself. Perhaps it's because I got to see my bestie, Rachael, play with her band last night in Davis and didn't have to worry about studying. Or maybe it's just the Frank and I have been so happy together for almost 3 years and we're even more in love than ever. Could be that I'm moving towards a steady and exciting career and I can already see how the studying and hard work is paying off. Or maybe it's just the smell of cloves simmering on the stove to give the house that Christmas-y scent.

Whatever the reason, I'm just happy. :)

close to the end!

Well, close to the end of this semester, that is. Either way, I'm beyond excited that I'm going to survive anatomy and medical terminology! It is truly amazing what I've learned and how much my brain can actually absorb. I just got home from a SEVEN HOUR open lab, where I studied the entire time without breaks. Because I've done this very thing so many times, my head doesn't hurt anymore after that much time on one subject, but it probably will by the morning. Tonight and Tuesday night will be my last all-nighters of the semester! I will be so relieved to be done and have a break from medical everything :)

Thanksgiving was so much fun :) Frank and I got to spend time with my family and some friends, then head over to Woodland to spend another Thanksgiving with his parents and family friends. It was so great to see everyone and remember what we're both thankful for. And double helpings of turkey and mashed potatoes and pecan pie?? Yes, please!

the dayton kids and frank :)

frank helping to clean up :)

holiday kisses...hehe :)

The only other thing on my mind has been CHRISTMAS! Not only for the excitement of the whole holiday, but also the stress of not enough money. I have gone back and forth between those two feelings a lot in the past little while. I'm sure things will end up fine, as always, so I should just stop worrying and enjoy homemade cookies and scents of cloves and beautiful lights :) My Brittany will be visiting around Christmas too, so that makes this year extra special!

I must go study once again - wish me luck on my 3 upcoming finals!!!

happiness :)

So I'm sitting here on a Saturday night, bored and done with work, but happy - for several reasons.

First reason - I set a goal tonight of $80 in tips tonight, which would not only pay off the rest of my classes for the spring semester, but also my phone bill due on Monday. I made $82! SCORE! Even though paying for things isn't so fun, it's always nice being able to actually pay them off by myself, with my hard earned (very hard earned...) cash :)

Second reason - I talked to my long lost friend, David, and he's conducting the pit orchestra in a musical called "Into the Woods" in March. I'm going to play the flute/piccolo part! Since deciding and going head first into nursing school, I haven't had time for anything music related, which makes this an incredible opportunity. Not only do I get to do something that I love and miss and get to hang out with old friends, but I get paid for doing it! :)


Third reason - On Wednesday, I took my 2nd to last lecture exam and lab practical for anatomy! Do you know what this means?! I am officially three quarters of the way DONE with human anatomy (AND medical terminology)!!! I cannot believe how much I've learned and how much confidence I've gained just since late August, and it's all thanks to this class and my professor, Dr. Pikul (yes, he pronounces it "pickle", ha!). This class has pushed me to my limits in every aspect possible, but I am so proud of myself for getting to this point. I've never felt this smart before, never been so proud of getting A's on my tests, never ever ever studied this hard for anything in my life. It's funny to think that just some class has boosted my self-esteem, but it truly has and I'm so glad that I've benefited from it so much! I still have several more prerequisites to take before the actually "nursing school" part, but I'm looking forward to everything I still get to learn. I'll be taking microbiology, communications and nutrition next semester, then after will come chemistry, physiology, human development, sociology and psychology. So much learning = so much fun!


Fourth reason - The happiness that came from my Kauai trip with Frank and his parents still hasn't worn off. I cannot physically describe how incredibly amazing it was. I fell even more in love (if that's possible) with Frank, had a blast getting to know his parents better, saw so many wonderful things, got to experience new things like snorkeling, eat delicious food, swim in the ocean almost every day....I could literally list off things for days. Frank and I want to eventually live there (seriously) - it is so gorgeous. One week there was much too short and I was so sad to leave and come back to reality and life. It was just wonderful to take a break from everything, spend quality time with people I love on a gorgeous island. I can't wait to go back! ...and I will, you'll see!


And so, to end tonight's entry, here are some pictures from Kauai - yay!

first glimpse of Kauai!!

coconut grove right next to our hotel!

looking over 'Spouting Horn'

SNORKELING!

us at a luau!

sue and i at the luau :)

traditional hawaiian food, including poi!

right outside (and downstairs) from our room!

looking out over the gorgeous canyons

hanalei bay...amazing!

i could LIVE on this - eggs, hashbrowns and SPAM!!

sunburnt :(

sitting on the beach, AT NIGHT, looking at the stars and listening to the waves...absolutely perfect

hawaiian shaved ice is incredible!! WAY better than snowcones

frank literally spent 3 hours tearing away at a coconut. he got it open, only to find out it was rotten, lol :(

hawaiian NENE'S! :)

local hawaiian farmer's market!! i got to try starfruit and sunrise papayas...yuuummm

the beach right outside our hotel :)

looking out at the lighthouse

at the top of Kauai...so gorgeous :)

...and the ones who made this incredible trip possible :)

BEST TRIP EVER.

Gooooood times!

I feel so wonderful lately! Last week was midterm time for me, and while I was exhausted and studied extremely hard for them, I felt pretty good about how they went. Today I found out my scores and I was totally surprised at how well I actually did! I got a 95% on my anatomy lab practical, 95% on my anatomy lecture exam and a 97% on my medical terminology midterm! I even tied with one other person for the highest score in the class for medical terminology! I am so proud of myself, for studying as hard as I have been, motivating myself to do well and really pulling through. 

So, as if I didn't feel good enough, I am going to....HAWAII TOMORROW!!!!! I have never ever been and I am beyond thrilled! I have yet to pack, but I've been starting to gather things since about a month ago...:) Frank's parents are so great and they bought my plane ticket and hotel room! This is probably going to be the best vacation EVER. I get to relax on a beach for a whole week, go snorkeling, eat papaya, go to a luau and take amazing pictures. I'm a little worried about missing three lectures/labs for anatomy, but I'm not complaining. 

I know this was only a quick little update, but I felt so happy about everything that I wanted to tell the world! When I get back from Hawaii, I'll be posting all of the fun adventures and awesome pictures!!

YAY!

the power of words :)

Today I had an amazing experience that will stick with me, probably forever. Lately I really  haven't been able to see a ton of pure goodness in humanity, but one lady and one small action completely altered my view.

I was in the store, buying some powered sugar (for frosting) and a birthday card for Frank's birthday (tomrrow!!!), and passed two ladies with a shopping cart. Obviously, I said, "excuse me" as I passed, but thought nothing of the meeting - just another shopper trying to weave their way around the Walmart. As I stood there looking through birthday cards, one of the ladies I had previously passed came up to me, put a hand on my shoulder and said, "you are beautiful."  This was quite a shock to me, but I quickly thanked her with a huge smile. She went on to tell me how she had an urge from God to tell me how beautiful I was when I passed her, how she could see and feel my sweet spirit and how my good nature just shined through my eyes. I honestly could not believe what was coming out of her mouth. She departed with a "God bless" and was on her way.

A complete stranger had the urge the tell me that I'm beautiful. What she did for me is absolutely amazing and semi-convinces me that I really am. I have never felt beautiful in my life and somehow this out-of-the-blue compliment has me thinking in the opposite direction.

My faith that there are good people has pretty much been restored and I am just amazed :)

duodenocholedochotomy...and things like that.

Figuring out not only what those giant words are but even how to SAY them has taken up most of my life lately. I decided to start taking prerequisites for x-ray technician school and even just the human anatomy class I'm taking has got me studying 30-40 hours a week to barely keep my head above water. Add to that a medical terminology class, a job and a boyfriend and I've literally had zero time to waste, post updates on here or even think.

I am still aiming for a medical type job, but my thinking process has been altered a little. I keep getting told how amazing I would be as a nurse and after researching it, nurses do make more money and have more job opportunities and room for promotion. So here's my current plan - I can finish up the prereq classes and apply to the x-ray tech program at Yuba College and while I'm on the waitlist for that, finish and apply to the nursing program at Sierra College. It'll definitely take a few more years than I had planned, but I think it will be well worth it in the end.

I have learned over these past 5 weeks is that I am much smarter and more hard working than I have ever given myself credit for. I never thought I could or would want to study as much as I have for a class, but I have put in so many endless hours. Luckily, the studying has been paying off - I got an A on my first anatomy test, I've been getting 11/10's on my medical terminology quizzes and so on. This is more than I have ever studied in my life and I feel so accomplished already. I can't even image the insane medical words that I'll know even by the end of the semester! I don't get to say that I'm proud of myself very often, but I have been glowing - if you could only SEE me through all of the textbooks, notes, flashcards and homework!


I have also discovered that I'm actually really taking an interest in the things that I'm learning. I was in music for so long and never truly had to work hard at it to get results, but now this is a completely new subject with new discoveries and new everything. I am not only surprised, but THRILLED that I have a knack for something I never expected and to actually LIKE what I'm doing. Amazing.


Other than anatomy, work has been going well, especially when I am able to get some good tips and Frank and I have been wonderful, as always. He left on a national tour with his band and even though I missed him terribly, I was able to use all of that time to study my butt off. But now that he's back and has his birthday next Saturday, I'm so happy to see him and finally hang out with him again!


Other news? I found out I'm allergic (like, REALLY) to cats, which pisses me off. I discovered that having money is awesome, but it kinda sucks when you don't have any. I was also trying to hang out with some friends that I haven't for a while, but it's not working out too well since anatomy has made me into a hermit.


At least today brought me sushi, green tea ice cream, and discovering awesome medical words like hepatocholangiocystoduodenostomy :)
 

update!!

Sooo......it's definitely been a couple of months.I thought I would update this blog, just to keep the world informed about my life's events! 
  

• Frank and I are doing great. Living far apart sucks, but we're making it work - usually I drive out to Woodland and spend a few days a week there with him and his parents to just hang out, talk, watch movies and eat Otter Pops :) We just got back from Reno for the past several days and it was a lot of fun. We're hoping to head up to Arcata, CA for a few days after I get home from Donner Mine Music Camp - he said he has a romantic surprise for me (that doesn't include a ring, lol) !! :) Other than that, we try to see each other as much as possible :)
• Work is going GREAT. I think it's partially because it's giving me something to do, but I love all of the people there and I've made some great friends so far! Amanda, Lindsey and I took a road trip up to the Oregon coast recently for another girl from OG, Holly, and her wedding! It was a blast, despite getting burned on the beach...:) I had a sleepover with Dawn and Brittany, gone to sushi with Kayla, Stefanie and Drea, hung out with Evan and Kyle...there are just so many great people who work there! I also get discounts on incredible food (I say as I sit here eating my delicious polenta-parmesan crusted chicken...), and every once in a while get to meet some awesome customers. I had a older couple at one of my tables today and the guy was feeding a breadstick to his wife....SO SWEET! Another man taught me a few Irish phrases and quizzed me at the end. Things like that just totally make my day :)
• Several upcoming events are getting me SO excited as well. Donner Mine is coming up in...ready?....FIVE DAYS and I can't wait to see Britt and the other counselors and getting away from the world for two weeks! After that...DACH'S WEDDING! August 7th, I get to be her Maid of Honor and I couldn't be more excited. I honestly thought for a while that I wouldn't be able to make it out to Chicago because of work and money, but it's all coming together and I'm beyond thrilled!! Another big event coming up...can anyone say, HAWAII?!?! Frank's parents are just incredible and are taking us there for a week in October!!! It still hasn't sunk in that I'm actually going there for the first time and that it'll be with my boy and that it'll be absolutely perfect :) SO many things to be happy and excited and grateful for!
• I have also changed my life direction, again ;) I have decided to go into the ultrasound field! Between the salary, job security and totally being cool, it's something that I'm striving toward. It's going to take longer that I'd like, but I'll get there eventually! First off, I have to become a radiology technician, which will take me at least 3-4 years, because of prereq's and the waitlist for the program being so long. But after I graduate from there, I can either work for a while as a radio tech, or continue on and specialize in ultrasound! Here's to hoping I'm actually doing something with my life when my 10 year reunion comes around...ha. But still, I'm really excited for the way things are looking up!
• My photography has taken a backseat lately, just between working as much as possible and driving out to Woodland on my days off. I really hope to get back into that though, soon. :)

Well, that sound like a decent update?? :) I think so. I'll be writing more as more happens! Here's some recent pictures to give you a visual!

(Frank and I in Chinatown!!)

(BBQ with Mario, Kristin, Brett, Ginny, and of course babe and I. Before going to an HBG show at Crystal Bay!)

(Six Flags day with Frank. SO much fun!)

(Oregon with my girls! Amanda, Lindsey and I before Holly's beach wedding!)

(Holding Holly's baby Ean! So precious...)

(Lindsey and I at Holly's reception!)

(HBG playing a show at The Alley in Sparks, NV. Lots of fun!)

(Joselle's 21st!!! Going clubbing with Liz, Joselle, Collier and Lena. Best night ever.)

(Being double excited with Collier and Joselle!)

(My lesbian lover and I...:D)

Alright, goodnight Internet! I'll *hopefully* have more to update after DMMC in a couple of weeks!! :)

the sandman and i are fighting.

So, ever since I moved back home, I have not been able to get an entire night's rest. I toss and turn all night, constantly wake up from random (and very scary) nightmares and can never get back to sleep. I have tried sleeping on the couch, sleeping a different person's house, taking sleeping pills, sleeping on the floor, with a nightlight, going to bed early...everything. I get home from work exhausted, don't take a nap so I will hopefully be tired enough to sleep, but than am disappointed when I find myself trying desperately to count sheep. It is so frustrating. I didn't sleep well last night (suprise!), so I had to go in and out of attempted sleep until noon today. I hate wasting that much time in a day, but I know if I didn't, I would be a zombie at work tonight. I think I'm going to try and find a stronger sleeping pill to see if that will work. The ones I have get me to sleep, but have never kept me asleep. Anyone have any other suggestions??

 

amazing spelled backwards is CAMERON!

My little brother, Cameron, is probably one of the best and sweetest boys I have ever known. I went to one of his orchestra rehearsals tonight and saw what an amazing musician he is and how self-motivated he can be. He helped start this orchestra (Placer County Youth Orchestra) and he's done an amazing job. Because this was something he wanted, he went all out for it - researched and found music, contacted people he knew could help, transposes parts for other musicians who can't or don't even care, judges competitions and seating auditions and plays whatever part they need him to play. I couldn't even begin to accomplish something like that and especially not when I was only 13. All I cared about when I was his age was stupid things like boys and wanting to go to dances. He is more motivated than I feel I will ever be.

I started thinking about everything else this little amazing dude does. Gets straight A's in all of his classes, scores in the 97th percentile on all his tests in school, made the volleyball team, plays with the Sacramento Youth Symphony, plays in and helps organize the PCYO (mentioned earlier), has practiced and can now play piano/guitar/trumpet/drums/baritone AND can sing very well, has done numerous plays with Music Circus and Magic Circle Theater, is about to start his Eagle project in scouts and still finds time to spend with his family, making other people feel good about themselves and to do his homework at the end of the night.

I cannot believe what an amazing kid Cameron is, and I feel bad that not everybody appreciates that or even SEES it when he's in front of them. He goes above and beyond everyone's expectations and I love him to death.

When I grow up, I want to be like Cameron.

the OG!

So, when my trainers all said the the people who work at Olive Garden were amazing, I didn't believe them. I've heard the same thing at all the places I've worked, but never have I experienced nicer coworkers than at the OG! Today was my second official shift as a server and I had so much fun. Yes, it's still a little overwhelming, but I'm getting more used to holding a tray (!!), getting to know where things are in the computer and starting to get into a groove. Everyone though so far is incredible. I feel like I just got welcomed into a huge group of friends, rather than feeling like an outsider trying to fit in. I can't believe how patient people are with me, keeping in mind that I ask about 10 questions every minute. I just can't even express how much I appreciate the people working there and how happy they've made me. I'm so glad that they have given me the opportunity to work there. I just feel like I'm exactly where I need to be :)

...when I'm here, I AM part of the family...

NEW!

So, it's been almost two months since I've moved home, back into my parents house. A couple of big changes have happened since then. The biggest thing? New job. After applying to literally 52 places, I finally got two interviews and got hired at Olive Garden! From what the other servers are saying, I was extremely lucky to have gotten hired without any previous serving experience. They told me that I would have 6 days of training, which I thought was a little excessive at first. But, after having my first official shift today, I would be totally happy with even more training. Serving is so much more work than I expected! I have to act like I know everything when I know nothing and it is extremely overwhelming. I know I'll get the hang of it eventually, but I had a training shift last night (luckily my trainer was helping me remember everything) and there were honestly like, 3 or 4 times that I almost cried because I didn't feel like I was doing an adequate job and couldn't keep up with the pace where everyone else was. It is nice though, that everyone there is so willing to help me out. I feel like I've asked two million questions, but everyone is always so happy to answer and make sure I'm alright. There are a few people there already that I hope to become good friend with, because they are amazing. I am very very grateful for a job and one that keeps their employees so happy, but I am just really hoping that I will be able to become a competent server quickly!

The other thing that is a big change for me right now is the fact that I can't see Frank every day. He lives about 40 minutes away and even though we're making it work, it's been really hard for me. I guess it's just a shock for me because I saw him all the time for almost two years and now I only get to see him maybe on weekends, depending on gas money situations, him traveling with his band, my parents willingness to let me go and my work schedule. I was very happy to travel up to Arcata last weekend with him, but as much fun as it was, I really felt like I didn't get to see him those three days. I know it sounds silly, but we were so busy meeting new people, hanging out with old friends, getting ready for the band's shows and everything, I just missed having 'us' time. I get to go tomorrow morning with him to Reno for two days, so I'm very excited for that as well, and I'll try to make to make some 'us' time fit into that :) He is a wonderful boyfriend and I love him so much...it just sucks that our time together has been cut way more than in half. 


One last new thing, then it's to bed! I am thinking about a career change (again). Not that I don't want to teach, because I do, but I started thinking about the economy and my future family and my future in general. There are so many things I want to have happen, and for that, I'll need to have a steady career and not be living on the edge of poverty. For all of those reasons, I have been looking at and researching a job as a sonographer (ultrasound). For one, it's in the medical field, which will always be steady. Second, in almost all states, sonographers make a very decent living, which would be more than wonderful for me. Third, it's something that sounds very interesting to me and I think it would be exciting! I know it'll take a ton of work and studying, but I think this is what I'm going to do. There are still about 5 college classes I need to take to get into the Sonography Program at Kaiser, so I'll still be at Sierra College for at least two more semesters before I can apply for 18 month program at Kaiser. It'll be a couple of hard semesters too - this fall I'll be taking chemistry, human anatomy and medical terminology. That means Mondays and Wednesdays from 8 AM - 9:30 PM!! Crazy, but I'm willing to work hard and I'm excited!

Those are the biggest changes to report at the moment. I'm going to get to bed because my boy is coming to pick me up in 11 hours!! :)

(my boy and i at the beach in trinidad last weekend!)

Goals and Regrets

So, I realize it's been a little while since I last wrote. Partially due to my laziness and forgetfulness, partially due to the craziness of moving, trying to find a new job and adjusting to life back home. So I apologize for not really keeping the world up to date on my life adventures.

I had my birthday on January 26th! I am now 22 and old. It wasn't the most exciting of birthdays, I have to admit, but Rachael and I went to Indian food for lunch, I had my last day of work at Raley's (and cried saying bye to everyone), and Joselle made me a delicious dinner after. I was very happy I got to hang out with two of my best friends, but next year I want to do something crazy. Skydiving? :)

As for moving, today was the LAST DAY I had my apartment in Reno. I have spent the last week up there trying to get everything finished. Frank's parents came up and helped me move all of my furniture, and Frank and I finished detail cleaning his place and mine. Since I had expected to be there for longer, I painted my whole apartment, which made the move about 10 times more difficult. Buying the paint, the actual painting, the second and third coats of paint, the taping and untaping of outlets...it felt never ending. But I finally got it all finished today...just in time to make it over the pass before the snow storm.

 

Frank and I being PAINT WARRIORS!

 

...and we painted our initials before we started...:)

Frank had been my lifesaver through this last week of moving. If he hadn't been there, it would have made everything about 10 times worse. He was able to keep me happy while I was doing jobs I really didn't want to do...I love him :) Either way, it really made me sad to leave my apartment for the last time, walk down the stairs the last time and drive away from my parking spot for the last time. I always get all sappy about moving, but this time I had to think about leaving RENO for the last time, as well as my apartment. I haven't cried today, though I expected to. I'm sure I'm just holding it in for another time. It amazes me still that even though I was there for 4 years, I haven't been to half of the local stores and restaurants and haven't seen half of the things that tourists do in one week long trip. How did I pass up this amazing city?? I'm so disappointed in myself for not taking advantage of all that Reno has to offer. If, or when rather, I get back to Reno, I am making a vow to myself to make sure that I experience everything I can while I'm there. That actually goes for any place I move to next - I need to pretend I'm a tourist on an extended vacation and see/do everything I can, because I don't want to feel like I do right now ever again. Ever.

There was a bit of happy news today for me...I have an interview set up at Olive Garden for a server position! I know, I know, that doesn't seem like the most incredible news, but after applying for about 40+ jobs in the past few weeks, hearing back from one totally made my day. I have gotten so frustrated feeling like I've spent all of the time sending resumes, writing emails, filling out paper applications, filling out online applications, and for what? Nothing. So I was just beyond happy when I got a voicemail about coming to an interview next Tuesday. I realized that as much as I hate going to work, I hate NOT going to work a lot more. I don't feel like I accomplish anything in the day and having no money really really sucks. Cross my fingers for me on Tuesday!

Also, this past week has been an eye-opener for me in terms of food. Not what you expect - Frank showed me this show on Food Network called "Bizarre Foods". This guy, Andrew, travels the world and eats the weirdest and most of the time disgusting foods. After watching several episodes and getting over the gagging factor that it sometimes provides, I would like to try more foods and stop being so picky. I'm in NO way at all saying that I want to eat calf brains or tuna testicles!! I just don't want to miss out on all the foods that probably are rare and delicious that I have labeled as "gross" before. Here's to not being so picky!! :)

 

Andrew Zimmern, my new hero :)

 

 One more paragraph and then I'm calling it a night. Since I'm going to be home now and am only taking one class and hopefully working soon, I figured I could start doing things that I've always wanted to do because I'll now have the time to do them!

 

1 - Ride my bike everyday, just like Daddy!

2 - Learn to cook, WELL

3 - Learn how to play the banjo

4 - Assist pro photographers in the Sacramento area

5 - Get lots of scrapbooking done

Hope you all have been well! I'll write again soon :) Sweet dreams!

sick of being sick...

Despite a runny nose and sneezing and a sore throat, I thought that I felt pretty good the past three days.

That all changed today - I FEEL LIKE CRAP.

I've lost my voice, can't stop coughing, can't stop sneezing, can't breathe, can't see from watery eyes...

And I'm sick to death of Cold-Eeze lozenges, OJ, water, sleep, vitamin c, DayQuil, NyQuil, yogurt, cough drops, Vick's, sore throat spray, buying more tissues and toilet paper.....

In short, I'm SO sick of being sick. :(

Oh, so we're FEELING now?

I think I've been putting off writing anything down about moving because I'm afraid that I'll actually have to face my feelings instead of just putting them in the back of my mind. But since I have already cried today, I figured that now is a better time than never to get everything out.

Change has a funny way of affecting people. There have been sayings like "change is a good thing" to help people cope with it, even. Honest truth? Most of the time it sucks. I'm not saying that being with my family and saving money is a bad thing (because it's actually great), but uprooting myself from this place I've made my home for the past 4 years is really tearing me apart. Just thinking about leaving all of my friends, my regular customs here, the fun things I've been able to do, living by myself and having as much freedom as I needed is really difficult for me to do. I think back on saying to so many people how I just wanted to get out of Reno, but really, the place has grown on me, more so than I thought. And now that I do have the chance to leave, I don't really want to anymore. I want to take back everything I said about Reno being so bad and replace it with all of the things I love - Gold 'n Silver Inn, waking up to a fresh sheet of snow on the ground, San Raphael park, the University, the park that overlooks all of Reno, people watching in the casinos, meeting the craziest people at work and always having a story to tell about them, living right next to the river, being only 1/2 hour away from Tahoe, having everything be open 24 hours...I could list things for hours. When you wake up to this being your front yard in winter, how could you not love it here?

Besides leaving what I love about living here, it's also devastating me to leave the people I've met here and the ones who have become my closest friends. Rachael, Joselle, Liz, all of my friends at work, Kristen and Mario, Jen, Yvette and Chico, Zeb, Dan, Evie and Daniel....once again, I could list for days. I know I'll be able to visit, but it won't be the same. I can't call someone up to have a sleepover that night if I need to talk. I can't go hang out with someone after work. I can't drop off surprise cookies when I want to. I have customers I see all the time at Raley's that I won't see anymore. I'm just going to miss everyone I've met here, A LOT.

The upsides to moving home:

~ I get to hang out with Amber a lot more (obviously, since we're going to share a room :D)

~ I get to spend time with my family

~ I WILL SAVE SO SO SO MUCH MONEY!

~ DACH IS HOME AND I GET TO ACTUALLY HANG OUT WITH HER!!

~ New school, new job, new friends

~ Trader Joe's is 5 minutes away instead of 15 :)

~ I won't have to request off work for a few days in order to take a family trip somewhere

So, once again, I am still having extremely mixed feelings about moving home. It's complicated, as is everything with major change. Never completely positive, but also never completely negative. I'm trying to stay positive for the most part, but it does get hard while packing your life up again in boxes, realizing that it may be a while before living on your own again, thinking about all of the memories of worn out jeans and funny letters from friends and marching band socks. Reflecting, for me, has usually always been hard, but especially now, trying to think about going back to Roseville - my home, yet not my home. I feel like I am leaving home again, for the second time in my life. And with that, let the tears come.

In other news, my birthday is in THREE DAYS, and sadly, I'm not looking forward to it. Frank's already in Woodland for the week, so he won't be there to start my day off and I also have to work. Not only is it working on my birthday, but it's my LAST DAY at Raley's. Depressing in itself, and definitely not something I wanted to deal with on my birthday. They are supposed to be celebrations, yes? But once again, leaving the place I spend most of my time and all of my friends at work, let alone on my special day, just upsets me. Either way, I hope I get a couple birthday wishes, ha :) I'm planning on coming back up to Reno for my birthday weekend, so hopefully that will make up for having a LAME actual b-day.

I hope everyone has a better week than I, who is soon 22 and still broke ;)

Short List of Thoughts

*My cats are driving me UP THE WALL...

*I have work tomorrow morning at 9...dreading...

*I stilllll need to write down all that I'm feeling about moving

*I miss my boy when he's gone...:(

*In spite of everything, Imogen Heap's "Hide and Seek" always finds a way to calm me down...:)

*OFFICIALLY 3 DAYS TIL MY BIRTHDAY!! :D

People MAY Surprise You...

It's been interesting the past couple of days. Biggest lesson?

People are not necessarily who they seem to be.

Whether it's a good or bad surprise, it's proven to be very true the past couple of days.

I won't name names or use very intimate details of the bad one, but I have examples of both to share with you. There was a person who I thought I knew, thought they were cool and fun to be around and could have ended up being a great friend. And of course (I'm sure you've guessed it by now), that person surprised me to my core. They hurt me in a way that very very few people have or ever will in the future. It made me question a lot of things about myself - was I suddenly a bad judge of character? could I have prevented this somehow? how would I look at people differently from now on? would I be able to pick up on the 'red flags'? I just felt horrible knowing that I had previously admired this person and now would give anything to take back my assumptions that this person was a friend. What's worse is that there WAS an awkward feeling at the beginning of the friendship that I just couldn't put my finger on - I dismissed it for whatever reason. Obviously, I should have gone with my gut feeling.

On the other side of the spectrum though, I was surprised to find support and happiness from a person I previously disliked. Funny how people can surprise you, yes? Anyways, I suddenly found myself talking to, trusting and getting (good) advice on things from this person. I saw a side of him that I hadn't seen before and it was nice to know that despite all of his teasing and being a dick, there really is a great side to him and that he truly is loyal to his friends. I am extremely thankful for that surprise.

On another completely different side, I SURPRISED MYSELF! Yesterday, my boyfriend Frank, came home from Woodland - I haven't seen him in about a week. After several interesting situations this last week, I realized how wonderful he is to me and how much I really do love him. SOOOOO....instead of making him cook dinner (as he ALWAYS does), I COOKED!!! This may not be a crazy surprise for you, but you need to know the background for this. I have come to find out that I can bake extremely well. I cannot cook. Cannot. It never turns out the way I hope it will or I mess something up, or any number of things. BUT, after three hours, a smoke alarm going off and me standing in the kitchen watching the minutes go by, I cooked a wonderful meal! I made "Chicken breasts with mushrooms and cream" by Julia Child. I was upset because it didn't look like it was supposed to, but after tasting it, I realized that I'd actually cooked something right! I also made chocolate covered strawberries with white chocolate stripes for desert...my babe was SO impressed! Of course, now that he *thinks* I can cook, he'll probably try to convince me to do it half of the time now. Either way, I completely surprised myself with how well my meal turned out and I think I will cook more in the future!!

In other (bittersweet) news, I am for sure moving back to Roseville. There are many many ups and downs to this, but my main goal is to save up money. More rambling on this news to come....

(Right to Left : my smoke alarm NOW, after I had to murder it; Julia Child's wonderfully yummy recipe; my cute strawberries!)

Hope everyone has had a wonderful week! I'll write again soon!

In Awe

I was trying to go to sleep (which never seems to happen anymore..) and listening to some really calm harp music. Just realized that the harp is probably one of the prettiest instruments ever. It's just gorgeous - and this is coming from a flute extremist :)

I think I want to add that to my "Life Goals" list - learn how to play the harp. Remind me to put some items from that list up tomorrow....that should be entertaining enough for everyone to imagine me skydiving or completing some nurse work or learning "Hungarian Rhapsody #2" for piano. HA. Either way, I'll list those off tomorrow!

Hope everyone is having a wonderful night!

Customer Complaints

Dear Raley's Customer:

Included is a list of complaints. It would be wonderful if you could respect these and be normal customers the next time you shop at Raley's and expect me to help you.

1. If you're paying a bill, I can NOT process it if you don't have the actual bill.
2. When the customer service desk shuts down at 6:00pm, don't yell at me for not opening it back up at 8:00pm.
3. If you have a return, only managers have keys to get your money back. Don't get angry at me for making you wait while I call a manager over to help you.
4. If I am assisting you, it is RUDE to be on the phone and ignore me. I will try and speak over your conversation, especially because there are other people in line who are waiting WITHOUT phones.
5. If the soda machine says broken outside, it's broken. Don't put money in it TWICE and expect that any store employee will repay you.
6. Asking for "extra light, double paper bags" really sucks. 
7. Courtesy clerks actually don't really want to go outside...they are just required to if you "want us to".
8. Don't yell at checkers and treat them horribly and then say "we have an attitude problem" when we don't smile or talk to you while bagging your stuff.
9. About 99% of the time, I DO know what I'm doing. Stop telling me how to do my job.
10. If all else fails...READ THE SIGNS. We post everything you need to know ALL around the store.

Now, I know these may be hard to follow, but let's just try out a few every time you shop, alright? Everyone in the store will appreciate it and we will (ready to be shocked?) TREAT YOU WITH THE SAME RESPECT. Funny how that works, huh?

Sincerely,

A Somewhat-Pissed Off Employee

New blogger on the loose!

YAY! I have never had a blog before, so this is actually quite exciting! My little sister, Amber, was the one to show me hers and I was very inspired. I have journals, but never seem to be able to keep up on them. MAYBE I'll be better with this. After all, it is basically like an online journal, yes?

The only big news of the day is that I MIGHT be moving back home...for many reasons, but mostly to save money and finish my general education classes without being constantly broke. I have so so so many feelings and thoughts that have been coming and going and can barely think straight after everything. More on this to come...

I got TWO scrapbook pages done today! I'm excited that my skills are progressing as I continue with this wonderful new hobby. Some people have running or cooking or cleaning as their way to "get away"; I have discovered that mine is scrapbooking. :) Also, in the mail today were about 10 new ON SALE scrapbooking items that I ordered a few days ago! They look even better in person! I'm so excited to use them sometime soon. :)

Alright, there's day one of blogging. I'm really hoping to keep this up - but we'll see how it goes...:)

GOOD NIGHT!